Tuesday, September 6, 2016
Ten On Tuesday: 10 People I Can't Handle Today
1. Oblivious drivers. Please notice that I'm behind you. Please notice that you need to pull forward. Please put your phone down. Please consider giving up your license.
2. That guy in the lane you need to merge into that speeds up when he sees your blinker.
3. People who task me. The hedgehogging specialty teacher who gives me work to pass back or collect or hunt down. The subject teacher who wants me to write the demerit. The other teacher who considers homeroom teacher and parent to be equivalent positions and therefore, complaining to me about one of my homeroom students takes care of the problem.
4. People who make inane small talk. Not the "how was your weekend?" sort, which is fine and sometimes an invitation to better talk. The "hot enough for ya?" or "thank God it's Friday, am I right?" people. Dear Lord just don't talk to me.
5. People who participate in the same activity I do, but they do in the most branded way possible.
6. That one Facebook friend who keeps posting disproved urban legends and enraged political lies.
7. White people with dreadlocks, especially if they are in line in front of me and also barefoot and wearing dashikis. Although sometimes I can get a contact high simply by inhaling next to them.
8. Students who interrupt a lesson to exclaim, "I don't get it!"
9. Acquaintances and strangers who hug.
10. Anyone smug, especially when combined with any of the above. You will get what's due to you. One way or another.